Months after her final Harry Potter book was published, author J.K. Rowling announced that the head wizard of Hogwart's School of Wizardy - and mentor to her young hero - is gay.
No, not happy-gay.
Albus Dumbledore likes to kiss men. He's into sodomy, and maybe Broadway musicals.
He apparently also apparently had a hankering for a bad boy, evil wizard Gellert Grindelwald. I don't know a whole lot about the Harry Potter universe, so I won't go into too much detail.
Rowling outed Dumbledore at Carnegie Hall, speaking to an audience of fans about her multi-million dollar series. They greeted her announcement with thunderous applause.
Of course, the same idiots who condemn Harry Potter books for the acts of "witchcraft" they include (if you condemn witchcraft, doesn't that mean you believe in it? Repeat: Some Christian groups actually, seriously believe in witchcraft) will now also have a gay guy to condemn.
There should be more gay role models in films and literature. But really, the first thought that crossed my mind upon hearing this news is that Rowling was simply seeking more publicity for her franchise.
Her announcement, and the surprise with which it was received, shows that Dumbledore's homosexuality probably wasn't spelled out in her book. If she were so courageous, and believed so much in equal rights for gays and lesbians, why did she shy away from being a bit more explicit with it in her popular books?
Fan Porn
To answer the above question, I did a bit of research.
Rowling correctly noted that her announcement would cause an explosion of homoerotic fanfiction. And I, being your fearless guide into the seedy depths of the Internet and the human soul, will provide you the door to depravity. Enter, if you dare, but know that what you will see, you cannot unsee.
A sampling, courtesy of "Marauder" on Fanfiction.Net.
Hey, fundamentalists, Taser this:
He rubs his hands over Albus’s thighs and Albus feels his breath stop in his throat.
“Am – “ He finds his breath. “Am I your gentler side?”
“You are,” says Gellert. “Now put that wand on the night table and look at me.”
Albus sets it down, swallowing, and turns to look back into the clever brown eyes. Gellert sits up and crawls into his lap. The weight, the warm solid weight – Gellert has one hand in Albus’s hair and the other resting on his neck. “We share one mind, Albus,” he whispers. “Why shouldn’t we share one body?”
“Aberforth and Ariana – “ Albus gasps, but he’s already giving in to the ecstasy of Gellert’s touch as Gellert slides the hand from his neck to his chest and lets it trail down further still.
“ – are downstairs,” says Gellert. “And won’t hear us through the Imperturbable Charm on this room. And shouldn’t need a thing from you until morning.”
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